after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
my liver is dry heaving
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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