Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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