I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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