just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
