He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
