i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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