I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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