You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
