you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
