I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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