Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize