why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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