i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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