Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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