Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
