What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
