Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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