I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
