have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
