I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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