I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
