and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
