So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
