so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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