Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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