please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
