if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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