i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Randomize
