i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Operation Purity has been aborted
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
