She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
