mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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