; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize