Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
