There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
