And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
we made out on top of his cat.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
