If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
