She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I'm passing your future prison.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
