Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
