I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
