im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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