Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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