absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
