i don't like sucking hair
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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