We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
