actually, I'm a sock model
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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