i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
