dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize