Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
he had hair everywhere except his balls
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
