I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
