So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize