I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize