id be glad to
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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