I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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