Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
