Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
