I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
where am i from again
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
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