**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
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