you traded sex for a burrito?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
