is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
