Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
