hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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