barbara walters just said penis...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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