Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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