Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
