I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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